Welcome back to another yearly reflection. The rules are simple:
For each relevant area of my life, I rate it with a net score of a W or an L, (win/loss if you’re not with the latest youngin-speak) then I expand more specifically on where I succeeded, where I failed, how I grew, what I learned, and what needs improvement going forward.
It’s my hope that by sharing my journey in this manner, my insights, perspectives, and experiences will have a massive positive impact on at least one of you. Who knows, maybe it might even be you.
Happy reading.
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2023 was underrated. Another crazy year on a worldly level, but such is to be expected in the 2020s. For me however, this was a very insular, focused year. I created some wonderful things behind closed doors that we’ll see more of next year. I opened new worlds while closing others and took leaps of faith that needed to be taken. I brought open loops to a close, tackled bottlenecks, changed the way I execute, leaned further into my masculine essence, and so much more.
Let’s begin.
W
Spirituality
Another year of spiritual advancement. Continued healing and evolving, continued practice of presence. Making great strides, and life just keeps getting better and better as I clear more, surrender to life’s flow more, and let God/source work through me more. It’s incredible what occurs when you just get out of your own way.
Writing
Writing has gone from a craft I casually wanted to get better at, to becoming the predecessor for practically every piece of content I make, and something I genuinely love doing. Whether the content stays written, or it ends up being converted to a video — almost everything begins with writing1And it’s from me, not AI like other creators who need to rely on something like this lol. It’s funny to me because I never really really viewed myself as a writer — I just write because it’s enjoyable. And yet, if we’re measuring based on what was made internally over the past 12 months, I created about 50x more written content than videos.
Most of the writing had was for the upcoming consulting library or for public content that doubles as lead generation for my program. The biggest shift this year was changing my approach from “documenting” as I have in the past, to speaking from a place of authority to share mindsets, processes and practical knowledge for self-improvement, based on experience — and it was absolutely intoxicating. Not only does it feel great to finally arrive at a place in my level of experience where I can take everything I’ve learned from the prior decade+ and speak about them from a place of authority because I’ve lived it, but it feels so right to lead with this type of content, knowing the potential it has to help people who take it seriously and apply it. All in all, the consulting-esque content was absolutely flowing through me this year (thank you, source) and I foresee this style of content fully overtaking my main channel in 2024.
Consulting
This was a tough call, but I’m going to give myself a bit of grace here and put it in the W column for all that was created, the foundation that was laid, and the fears and hurdles I overcame. But at the same time, there’s also a part of me that knows that it was time to expand my clientele from September onward, and I got seriously side-tracked with tackling content instead.
Rewinding to earlier in the year, I got my first client, which was enormous for my confidence. I put together a value proposition, crafted a pitch, practiced and practiced it and crafted a simple website for my services. I did a handful of free sessions, which gave me tons of confidence too. I was also guided to build up a library of writing that included the best tactics, resources, mindsets, processes and I’ve come across over a decade+ in self improvement, productivity, spirituality, etc., as well as anything I could possibly think of that would be useful for clients to have access to when they joined my program. Besides getting my first consulting client, creating this library was my favourite thing I did this year.
Throughout all this, it gave me an opportunity to work through a stupid amount of internal resistance and limitations, using the techniques I provide in my program. And with these processes, I was able to clear irrationally crippling points of resistance — such as putting together a simple website together for consulting, which I’d sit down every day to do and get absolutely nowhere. I was plagued, lol. But once the energy was cleared out to a degree, the work itself was cake and I finished it within just a few hours.
Due to everything I cleared this year, this endeavour went from being something I had to force myself to work on, to something I actually wanted to work on — I truly fell in love with consulting. And that’s ultimately the most valuable part of the current program — getting access to tools that can help you clear the bullshit that’s getting in your way, so you can go forth and do what’s required with less chaos, more simplicity, and handle the challenge that’s right in front of you with a smile.
But after that, things took a nose dive because of priority shifts. While I was wrapping up freelance in July, I decided to put consulting mostly to the wayside. Then afterwards, with rare periods of exception in between where I went back to improving the programs, I became fixated on wrapping up those past 3 videos, so they took over as the main priority. It wasn’t without great resistance though, because honestly, consulting was all I wanted to work on but I wanted those videos done and out of the way. And now that they’re all but done, it’s time to go hard as fuck.
Going forward, I need to take the ads I created back in June but never and execute a campaign to expand my 1-on-1 clientele, while also launching group consulting at a lower-tiered price point for people who can’t afford 1-on-1 work but still want consulting. It’s time to edit up that library of written content, decide on what I want public and what I want behind a paywall (yes, there’s a chance you might get a significant amount of this library public, it’s a possibility that’s on the table), release consistent free content on my website and main channel that’s highly informative and action-packed, and start plugging the programs in my content too. I also need to continue evolving the flow and structure, adding more assets that people are paying for, putting together the explanations for energy work, guides for the processes, and maybe even filming private videos for those who don’t want to read.
Exciting things coming.
The leap of faith from freelance
Moving on from the comfort I had cultivated with freelance marketing has been a scary jump, with days and nights where I stress the fuck out, but the has been incredibly growth-inducing and has given me a lot to work through. I had a window to financially make the jump to focus on consulting and content, and I took it. While this hasn’t gone as smoothly as I would’ve hoped so far, my path forward is bright and I applaud myself for the courage it took to do this because it wasn’t and hasn’t been easy.
P.S. It’s absolutely incredible to be focused again and dragged in fewer directions. I’ve missed this deeply.
Weight lifting
Continuing my momentum from last year, I made solid progress this year and I finally reached my desired goal of surpassing my former best physique and PRs, but with much better form.
I started the year out again at my apartment gym to save some extra money, then after a brief cut, I began an 8-month bulk. I started by doubling my training from 3 days per week to 6, then about a month in I dropped it to 5, and by the middle of the year, I re-joined GoodLife but Waterloo this time to access a greater variety of equipment with heavier weights, and then shortly after I switched to 3 days per week, but those 3 days were done right. During the bulk, I went from around 172 lbs to 190 lbs, up almost 20 lbs. Then, I cut down to 180 for a month and a half, then bulked up to 187 by year-end in the remaining months of the year.
For most of the year, I rocked PPL with reverse pyramid training, but around October I was guided to look into different styles of training. I experimented with rest-pause, before learning about and fully embracing the MAPS Anabolic system, and learned the value of variety, medium weight with higher reps, “trigger sessions” (quick, light band work sessions, repeated multiple times throughout non-training days), the importance of getting a spot for bench press, and was fortunate enough to break through many plateaus and hit new PR’s I’d been fantasizing about earlier in the year.
My main lifts by the end of the year:
- Bench press: 175 lbs x 4 reps (with form absolutely dialled, and I’m so happy about this because bench was my most challenging plateau)
- Overhead press: 115 lbs x 4 reps
- Squat: 230 lbs x 4 reps
- Deadlift: 255 lbs x 4 reps (probably might be my worst lift of the bunch)
- Bicep curls: 90 lbs x 9 reps
- Tricep pushdowns: 60 lbs x 16 reps (needs work, but this is with proper form unlike most people with this exercise lol)
Beyond the lifts, I also made solid improvements to my follow-up. My nutrition improved a ton this year, as I dramatically reduced the amount of cheat meals I had, and took my protein intake way more seriously by ensuring I had 0.82g of protein per pound of body weight also on rest days (was slacking on this last year). Then later in the year, I upped it to 1g for both training/rest days to save as much muscle as I could during the cut, and decided to keep it after for bulking too. Excellent decision, by the way, as that small uptick in protein has been right in line with PRs and shattering plateaus. I’ve also become deeply obsessed with the sauna and have used it religiously for the last 4 months or so to get that temporary HGH increase and cleansing benefits, and you also get some great conversations and socializing too.
Overall, I’m pleased. I still absolutely love lifting weights, I’m learning to like legs more, I love the gym that I’m currently at, the people in it and the environment/culture of it. I’m currently the strongest and biggest I’ve ever been — looking much bulkier than in years past — and things are only going to get better next year with the lessons I’ve learned, my hunger to grow even stronger, and the people I’ve surrounded myself with.
Masculinity
I got rid of my feminine, 4-year-long locks and shaved my head bald as a reminder that as a man, it’s not about how you look, but instead what you build in this world and ensuring you fulfill your other masculine duties.
I switched my identity from the type of guy who operates too much on comfort, emotions and what he wants to do, to the type of guy who does what’s required of him, regardless of the internal resistance, emotional turmoil, tiredness, sickness, or external circumstances. I just do what’s required now and do my best to execute perfectly, no matter what’s going on. And it’s crazy what I’ve been able to unlock as a result. 2Thanks to Alex Hormozi for the “doing what’s required of me” principle, then Andy Frisella for taking this principle and putting it on steroids with a podcast in Q3 that showed me I can execute perfectly regardless of how I feel, in any capacity. I’m incredibly grateful for both of your mentorship from afar.
I stayed very insular, focusing on building up myself and my world. I tapped into a whole other version of my work ethic, output both in how many hours I could work in a day as well as what I was getting done in those hours. I stayed with things longer, falling prey less and less to comfort. I worked on channelling my dark side much better. I handled tension better. I continued my no-porn streak and reduced masturbation. I pushed my comfort zone further and further. I trained things I didn’t want to train. I did things I didn’t want to do, but needed to. In fact, that’s what this year felt like for me as a whole — doing things that I didn’t feel like doing, but I had to because either my past self put them off because he didn’t “feel” like it or it was required of me in the present moment to move closer to a greater version of myself or a greater vision.
Living alone
I had my doubts at times this year if I made the right move with the amount it cost to live in my own apartment… but after editing the moving video part 2, I was reminded how bad it can be with the wrong roommates, and how much I love being in my own world, focused on the project at hand. So in the end, it was the right move. That, and taking stock of the amazing benefits like being a complete dictator of my space, having an entire fridge, freezer and kitchen dedicated to bulking, leaving all the doors open so Koby doesn’t need to whine at the door to leave, and being able to move around everything in crazy ways just to get specific shots for filmmaking, b-roll and content creation (which I hope to utilize way, way more in 2024) — it’s been great. While this experience has become pretty normalized after over a year of being here, it still does feel like a dream at times — albeit a pricey one in this insane housing market.
Productivity and output
Despite the minimal amount that I published this year publicly, I’d say this was my highest output year ever, based on what was cultivated, developed and produced internally. I was able to accomplish so much more on a day-to-day than I ever have by working through internal blocks, having a great environment to work in, significantly adjusting my schedule, upgrading my systems, and staying off of social media. I was able to get more out of myself on a day to level, finding a much better energetic harmony for wanting to get things done without crippling fear or attachment, and I operated less on emotions and more on what’s required of me, what needs to be done. I’m excited to continue this momentum forward in 2024.
Reflections
Reflections are way better these days. I’m having way more fun with them, keeping them much simpler, and applying way less pressure. I no longer force myself to re-read the reflections like I did last year and I don’t care about the little things in the same way that I used to. As a result, monthly, quarterly and yearly reflections have become way more enjoyable to do while still achieving an even better desired result thanks to changing the process and working through the energy around my prior resistance.
Spanish
I began learning Spanish on April 11th after my Dominican friend Luis — the man who keeps our apartment building looking clean and pristine — started teaching me some Spanish words. After I got back to my unit, I said fuck it and jumped into learning Spanish on my own, and I’ve had so much fun with this ever since.
I’ve kept it super casual, learning for an average of 5-10 minutes per day on Duolingo and with Google Translate. Thanks to my minor foundations of forced French back in the day3the two languages share many similarities, my Spanish-speaking friends who’ve helped me guide me along the way, and extremely consistent training and practice, I’ve laid a nice foundation for the basics of understanding and communicating the language, Yo solo hablo unos espanol, pero mi espanol mejora cada dia4English: I only speak some Spanish, but my Spanish improves every day.
Because many words and phrases haven’t become automatic yet, I’m limited by the speed of my mind. So naturally, I’m strongest with reading and writing because I can take it at my own pace and translate words if need be. Whereas when I’m listening to real people in the real world speaking Spanish, it’s tough for me to keep up, especially when my mind is tired, but I’m getting better all the time. My tongue and pronunciation are surprisingly decent, but again, I’m limited by speed of thought and at the moment, it requires so much thinking when I’m trying to communicate.5Side note, I really wish I could hear what my accent sounds like lol. I bet it’s hilarious.
This is the first time I’ve taken up a language out of choice, and it’s crazy what a difference it makes when you’re the one who wants to learn it. But overall, it’s been an absolute joy to watch as a whole new world opens up and I’m so excited to use this to talk with some 10/10 latinas.
L
Being “behind”
A key, meta pattern that fucks with my life significantly. Not a new concept to my life by any means, but it’s important to mention because it’s been such a major theme this year.
First, it was the moving videos, which stopped me from properly being present while living in my own apartment, as weird as that sounds, because in a content sense, I was still stuck 2 places back. Then, it was the haircut video, which sabotaged my efforts for content creation, because I wanted so badly to have this bald reveal. So all these other things fall to the wayside, like second channel videos, clips, newsletters, locals, the podcast, consulting content, the library, sales, etc. as well as anything I want to do that’s completely outside of the norm, too.
It’s like I’m constantly drowning in all these things I want or need to do with not enough time or energy, with these bottlenecks, feeling like I’m working too slow, and on my worst days, comparing my life path to others and feeling like I’m behind every else — add it all up and you have the deeply hell-ish pattern of “being behind”.
I’ve tried working my way out of being behind, and that hasn’t worked. It’s come to my awareness that I could in theory work 24 hours a day, and I’ll still find a way to recreate the feeling of being “behind” because it’s quite literally an addiction to a mismatch of expectations. It’s also deeply related to another similar pattern of not feeling “ready”, where I am not ready for X, because I’m behind with Y, and therefore I can’t do the next, new thing that’s going to take me to new levels in my life. It’s fucked.
I’m tired of experiencing this in my life and work, so I’m aggressively working to transform it. It’s a perception, commitment and speed issue. I crave feeling like I’m at the exact right moment, doing things in their proper time, moving forward at the perfect pace, committing to the right amount of things, letting go of projects that aren’t worth pursuing, making decisions quickly, embracing failure, mistakes and imperfection more, and having an amazing amount of mental and physical energy. I will fix this, mark my words.
Videos
Hate to put this in the L category again, but it’s what needs to be done.
Because consulting and freelance were higher in priority, video production fell to the wayside for the first half of 2023. And it honestly killed me inside. After that, I worked to tackle what I like to call “the big 3” — moving video 1, moving video 2 & the haircut video — which were all bottlenecks to my content, consulting business and well-being. The first 2 were a massive grind because it was super far in the past, I didn’t want to cover the material in it anymore, and the passion was lost, but I put my feelings aside and persevered anyway. Thankfully, the haircut video was way more fun because I still had some passion for it, but all 3 became highly complex and took infinitely longer than I intended them to, and stopped me from making what I wanted to make this year.
While I’m happy to say that I conquered the big 3 and got back to posting on my main channel in September after a 20-month hiatus, I’m unhappy to report that I only published one video on my main channel (haircut video needs more editing and will be shipped in January 2024) as well as 4 videos on the second channel. I found myself way too invested in making these highly edited videos, and I recently hit my breaking point with the haircut video.
In 2024, I’m ready to simplify my style, reduce the highly-edited production value, and instead make way more how-to and knowledge-based videos that are focused on bringing massive amounts of practical value. This goes right in hand with my consulting business, and the style of written content that’s about to bleed on my main channel, and I’m sitting on hundreds of outlines and full-blown written content that could be turned into videos — I’m so amped.
Beyond that, I need to work on my self-image, identity and standards for how long I take to produce/edit a video, how much I overthink the smallest of details (blessing and a curse) and taking the videos even further off of a pedestal in my mind, obsessing less over the perfect retention of a script, continuing to clear the resistance I have to cutting moments I feel a connection to while simultaneously letting videos and moments breathe more. I want to be more experimental, lean hardcore into my artist side when it’s time to do so, improve my vocal tonality skills, and use facial reactions to convey more emotion. I also want to improve the gamification in my editing process, improve my processes for shooting, handling and repurposing b-roll, and work on getting to a place where I turn around videos at record speeds. And now that things are in a better place in my flow of content creation, I want to get back to leveraging the “freshness” and raw passion of a new video in my process, and also work to clear the energy around and identity around this so I don’t find myself in a situation like this again.
Now, despite the L’s this year, I also have to give myself credit as I made some good progress on my skills in videography, storytelling, pacing, verbal communicating, color grading and sound design between my videos and client work. I also strongly detached from making “films” and instead shifted my focus to just making videos, where I’m able to use memes, stock footage and movie scenes side by side with my best videography. I’m doing my best, not trying to shoot above my skill level anymore, and having way more fun integrating my humour in the edit, and making the videos way less serious.
Newsletter
I released 5 newsletters in 2023, and I thought they were all solid.
The challenge is, after 2 years, I still haven’t set up the functionality for people to join my email list and have my newsletter sent to their inbox. They’re just posts on my website, which means almost no one is seeing them and I’m not building my email list, which is of crucial importance. So, I need to set this up ASAP.
Secondly, the consistency. While I was fine with sending out newsletters periodically while it was lower in priority than other pieces of content, I want to get in the habit of sending consistent newsletters in early 2024. Maybe bi-weekly, but I’m not sure I want to pigeonhole myself to an expected timeline because I’d rather say nothing if I have nothing to say.
So overall, I’m giving this an L. Do better, Josh.
Locals
My locals sits there, inactive. I’m fortunate that I now have clarity of what I want to post on here, but it’s time to dig deeper and make this a bigger priority in 2024, posting all sorts of behind-the-scenes action and really aiming to bring people value.
Podcast
I began the year unsure of what the future of the podcast might be and ultimately surrendered to the fact that it might be time to let go of it for good, leaving it as an archive. But I’m pleased to say that I was presented with an incredible download with a plan that changed everything, and showed me exactly how to make it work as a kick-ass solo podcast, including guests at times as well. And with this new era of the podcast, it’s slated to become a critical part of my content again and could be argued that it’ll be #2 in the new rankings.
Like many things in this list, the podcast was lower in priority, awaiting the catch-up of content on the main channel and second channel. But now that that’s almost done, after I further clarify the mission, the challenge I’m trying to solve and my target audience, it’s off to the races. I cannot wait.
Sales
On one hand, I’m pleased with myself for the fears I worked through, crafting a pitch, practicing it to the point where I can do it on command, as well as my approach to soft-selling — focusing on helping the prospect more than hard-selling. But letting sales fall to the wayside in favour of marketing is where this becomes an L. In the coming year, I need to go way fucking harder, getting lots of reps in soft-selling consulting, doing a bunch of free sessions, and getting rejected as much as possible. It’s what needs to be done.
Finances
To put this simply, I lived way too close to the edge, I didn’t prioritize building up the clientele in my consulting business enough, and my debt increased. I applaud myself on how frugal and below my means I was able to live in most areas this year; but going forward I need to make generating revenue and selling my top priority, rather than getting lost in exclusively doing marketing and branding that is useful, but doesn’t make me direct cash.
Vitamins
Only in the final week of the year, has this become something that is apparent to me. This is more niche, but I’m missing out on all these vitamins, nutrients and minerals in my day-to-day, and it’s time to invest in more vitamins and supplements so that I may get more out of myself. I believe I have deficiencies in a few key areas (most notably iron and zinc) and it seems to be a contributing factor in messing with my mental and physical energy and reducing prolonged productivity throughout the day, especially after intense exercise where I’m so mentally exhausted that I could sleep (and sometimes do lol). Best part? Vitamins are actually insanely affordable, and I had no clue.
Lessons
Doing what’s required
Do not operate based on what you feel like doing, what you want to do or what’s comfortable. Execution has nothing to do with your emotions. Be the kind of man who does what’s required of him, regardless of the internal resistance or external circumstances you’re experiencing. On any given day, at any given moment, you have the potential to execute perfectly and do what needs to be done, every damn day, no matter what.
When things happen to line up where I want to do something and it’s required of me, that’s amazing. But when they don’t, it doesn’t matter. Life as a man is not about being happy or having fun, it’s about putting your emotions aside and doing what’s required of you, for you, your family, your friends, your team and beyond.
When you operate from this place, you will tap into so much more of your day-to-day potential, that it may scare you how much you’ve capped yourself in the past.
You have so much more than you think
We have so much more in us than we let come out. We let ourselves get tricked by fear, tiredness, comfort, temptations, ego, and rationalizations, and we reduce what we are capable of on a day-to-day basis. If we ignore the illusions amongst these, put our emotions to the side temporarily, and just do what needs to be done, for as long as it’s required and essential, it may scare you how much more potential you have and how much you’ve been leaving on the table. At any given moment, you have more than you think you do, but it’s up to you to not give into the comfort and do your best, which is almost always more than your mind can perceive.
There’s no avoiding the pain on the path to greatness
I’m not special, you’re not special, and we can’t avoid the pain, the challenge. If you want great things, you have to be willing to go through this level of discomfort to get what you want. There’s no way around it. While there are ways to go through this more effectively, at the end of the day, you still must go through it. It’s the price you have to pay to chase something greater in this life.
Content is critical to business
Content is of paramount importance in business. It creates authority, trust, credibility, rapport, social proof, and reciprocity. Great content turns a cold prospect warm, makes your advertising more effective, gives you referrals, makes networking easier, gives you more free eyeballs on the algorithm, allows new people to come into your world, strengthens your bond with those already in your world, gives something people can share to create even more eyeballs — the list goes on. It’s of absolute importance that you master a great content presence, especially in service, information or lifestyle niches.
Why I’m not like most coaches
The difference between stereotypical “coaches” and myself is that I guide from personal experience and I keep it real. I’m not putting anything in my programs that I haven’t tested before on myself. And I’m not selling some bullshit image. I’m selling a guy who has the humility to admit he doesn’t know everything, but has come across some knowledge, approaches and tools that can really help you if you apply them. And how do I know this? Because it’s not theoretical or stuff that just sounds good, I’ve put it to the test in my own life, so it comes from real, first-hand experience.
What a coach is really selling
Coaches aren’t selling information. Sure, they have knowledge that they can probably share for days on end, but the reality is you can get most of that online, so it’s a commodity. What coaches are really selling is the systems you can tap into, processes you can utilize and accountability so that you don’t have to try and do this on your own. They’re selling you a mirror to help you discover what’s holding you back, tools to work through that so you can be free from your past limitations, and a place to consistently show up and face the fire so you actually commit, follow through and get results.
Don’t play to the lower self
Don’t play to what the client, prospect, or listener wants to hear. Play to their higher self, the version of them that you have a duty to help them tap into. That’s what they’re paying you for after all, whether it be in time, money, energy or attention.
Call and response is the backbone of every piece of content
Every conversation has a call and a response. It’s a question, followed by an answer. A topic, followed by an take. It goes back and forth naturally, and it’s why podcasts and conversational shows work. But if you’re on your own and trying to make your own show, can you utilize call and response? Yes. And it’s absolutely critical that you do. The “call” can be a topic, headline, video, image, soundbite, quote, question or comment — and the list goes on. These can be from the outside world, your audience, or even guests if you want to have people on your show. And then the response, is of course, where you provide your take, your thoughts, your input. If you can keep this formula in mind, you’ll be able to make a show that taps into our hardwired need for conversation, without needing any guests.
You don’t need total transparency
You don’t need to share everything as an online persona. It can be deeply useful to have topics that are off-limits, that you don’t comment on. You do not need to be deeply vulnerable all the time. And you don’t need to share the dramatics behind the scenes, either. Handle your shit in private as a man and instead focus on sharing what’s valuable to your audience. Then, at times, when it’s the right moment to do so, you can be vulnerable to your audience and connect with them — but even then, you still don’t need to share everything. It’s totally fine to redact certain details from stories to protect yourself or others.
Thanks for taking the time to read.
I hope that you take some time to partake in your own reflections, too. It doesn’t need to be public, like what you’re seeing here. I do a separate one privately too. And don’t just focus on yearly, that’s for rookies. The curious and growth-minded amongst us (like yours truly) are reflecting quarterly, monthly, weekly and even daily in a written sense, and even more constantly in a purely mental sense. For without consistent reflection, we are vulnerable to travelling too far down the wrong roads, not realizing we’re running in place or lacking the knowledge as to why things aren’t going as we want them to.
All the best to each of you in 2024. The upcoming year is going to be deeply chaotic on a worldly level, but like every year of my life in recent memory, I still intend for it to be the best year of my life and will focus on what I can control to make it so. And I hope you’ll do the same.
—Josh
